Scratch That Surface. Please.

Ok folks - let's call this post a public service announcement of sorts...especially for those of us who spend a good chunk of our lives on all forms of social media and the internet.

I don't want to focus solely on Facebook (though that is the place where most of my WTF sensors go off...), so I will say that the following guidelines apply to all forms of social media where "sharing", "liking", "re-posting" and "commenting" are expected actions and options.  I am asking you for a huge favor...before you do any of the actions that are air-quoted in the prior sentence, please adhere to the following simple rules:

STOP. THINK. RESEARCH AS NEEDED.

Listen, I am all about good conversation - I love a healthy debate, enjoy sharing my opinions and arguing my side of things.  BUT...I also love to learn about new things...and am more than open to changing my opinions on a given topic if what I am "learning" leads me in a new direction.

Case in point - thanks to my countless hours of research on all things autism, I have expanded my horizons dramatically on the topics of medical care, nutrition, neurological science, vaccinations, toxins, gluten, therapies, alternative medicine, insurance, IEPs...the list goes on.  When this journey began, I read everything. I believed everything. I didn't necessarily share everything.  I knew that much of what I was studying was "off the beaten path" and didn't want to be a shit-stirrer.  It wasn't about getting others to believe me - it was just about collecting knowledge to better help my son.

But now that I am a few years in...my feelings have changed.  I believe LESS, but I share MORE. Because I have quickly figured out that you definitely CAN'T believe everything you read.  And the explosion of social media has lead to an epidemic of over-sharing of misinformation...quotes, articles, blogs, photos...people tend to click that SHARE button before determining if they are sharing fact or fiction.  This is infuriating.

Why do I have such strong opinions on this? Hell, why is it any of my business? Well, for those of us that are out here "fighting the fight" in the Wonderful World of Autism, or against GMO food, or for equal rights, or against animal cruelty, or for your chosen political party, or against domestic abuse...or any "cause" that you have decided is worth your time and passion - nothing is more frustrating than witnessing the dissemination of lies, propaganda, exaggerations, and general misinformation about your chosen agenda.


ALL THE NEWS NOT FIT TO PRINT...Here's a news flash for you. Just because it is written on the internet does not make it true.  If you are reading an article and it sounds a little off, a bit hard to believe, maybe a touch hard to swallow...see where it came from.  Determine if you are reading something that is FACT.  There are a rash of satiric websites that exist solely to publish completely false "news" stories, and then the authors sit back in their chairs and LAUGH AT YOU as they watch you share, comment, like and re-post what they have created as if it was "bible".  Here is a short list of sites that are SATIRE. UNTRUE. NOT REAL NEWS.  Read the list, remember the list, and only re-post items from this list if you are doing it knowingly, and letting your peeps KNOW that you know so THEY know...got it? The Onion, Private Eye, Indecision Forever, Newsbiscuit, The Spoof, Sports Pickle, Unconfirmed Sources, CAP News, The Enduring Vision, Derf Magazine, News Mutiny, The Dandy Goat, Premature Eulogies, Not Safe For Home

And then we have Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia and Urban Dictionary - sites like these are almost WORSE than the satiric ones - because they are "user-defined" - any Schmo with a laptop can go on there and write whatever they want - WARNING! THESE SITES ARE NOT ACCURATE! DO NOT QUOTE THEM!

BLOG POSTS - UNBIASED OPINION OR "ON THE BOOKS"?  You may not know this, but there is an entire "business" out there involving fake blog posts.  What is the point of a fake blog post, you ask? How can it be fake if it's someone's blog? They are being paid to write it. Not paid like royalties, paid like briberies.  Still not following? People are paid money to write an "opinion" that someone in corporate America needs to be pushed upon the general public.  There are powerful and wealthy lobbyists for every stance, religion, cause and product in corporate America.  By planting this "propaganda" within an innocent blog post, they are able to forward their agenda unquestioned - because it's just one person's story, right?  Think about what you are reading.  Does it sound genuine? Use your instincts - if you aren't sure, Google the author's name - see what comes up.


WHO SAID THAT?  The quotes.  Oh, the quotes.  You may not realize this, but the majority of the "celebrity" quotes out there in the online universe were never actually spoken by those getting the credit. Case in point...our dear friend Marilyn Monroe.  If you were to use the internet as your judge, that woman was a goddamn genius.  This is false. There is no actual proof that she muttered ANY of the quotes that are regularly and repeatedly attributed to her.  In fact, her life and experiences tend to dispute most of those quotes.  But people see her face...and SHARE SHARE SHARE...hey, she was a beautiful and powerful woman that (many) men adored...isn't that enough? She needs to be a brainiac too? Marilyn is not alone - this also stands true for Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy...let's all stop putting words into their mouths please...Here's a great blog on this very topic...

Of course, you have the option of ignoring everything that I said here and going on in your little world of sharing everything under the sun...but you would be doing yourself a disservice.  Realize the impact of your opinions - yes, when you are sharing something, liking something or commenting favorably on something, you are forming an opinion. You are endorsing it.  You are lending it credibility. This is a powerful tool and should be respected accordingly.

Now...SHARE THIS POST!

(Only kidding...totally optional)

Commercial-ized

Super Bowl Sunday is here!

A sacred tradition in our country...more celebrated than many other, less exciting holidays on our calendar (Arbor Day Bash anyone?)...in fact, a petition was recently filed in Washington DC lobbying our government to declare the Monday AFTER the big game a national holiday...the irony of this being that many people that are partying on Super Bowl Sunday have little or no interest in the actual game.

If your team didn't make it past the first round of the playoffs, or even worse, your team's main rival DID make it - not a very enticing game for you.  If you don't even have a team and are not a fan of the game in general, the game is just background noise for the gluttonous display of eating and drinking going on outside of the HD box.

For many, the actual game also interferes with the musical performances...remember 2009 when Jennifer Hudson blew the roof off singing the Star-Stangled Banner in her first performance following the murders of her mother, brother and nephew? Well, if that wasn't emotional enough for you, this year she will be singing America The Beautiful with the chorus from the Sandy Hook Elementary School...and that's just during the pre-game.  Alicia Keys is singing the National Anthem, and we know all-too-well that Beyonce will be shaking her moneymaker during halftime.

But the most popular non-football event on SBS is the time between the plays...the commercials!  The amount of money, time and energy put into Super Bowl advertisements has become an industry in itself.   A recent survey confirms that 91% of consumers say they are as interested in watching the commercials as the game itself. 

This year's offerings run the gamut from the traditional (Budweiser's Clydesdales...again) to the non-traditional (a series of Tide ads featuring players from both the Ravens and the 49ers)...and of course, plenty of sex and silliness...Sports Illustrated swimsuit models eating fish sandwiches in bikinis on the beach being both sexy and silly I guess?  I have already picked my favorite (since we can now see actual previews of commercials - the joy of THAT INTERNET THING) - hands-down, Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd's Samsung Mobile ad - because sarcasm and wit have always been sexier to me than swimsuits and fish sandwiches.

I must admit that my house watches most of its TV on DVR, which (joyfully) negates commercials as a whole...but during those times that I am watching actual live TV, I do pay attention to ads...and what I have seen in terms of trends lately are FAR from sexy or silly...in fact, the state of commercials today in the non-Super Bowl environment can best be described as DISTURBING.

Candi's Least Favorite Non-Super Bowl Ad Trends:

1.  Dysfunctional Digestion...Is the entire frigging country bloated and constipated?  Whether it's Jamie Lee Curtis shilling her diarrhea yogurt or the endless glut of Fiber One products designed to "clean you out" - seriously?  It's enough to make me miss that old Pepto-Bismol spot where they sang that song - nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea (cha cha cha) - one of the original "disturbing" ads that started this trend.

2.  The Side Effects Will Kill Ya...since the floodgates opened and tons of prescription meds were allowed to be shown on TV, we have been inundated with these bizarre commercials...women sitting in dark rooms suffering from depression...little kids staring longingly out the window to the yard they can't play in because of their crippling allergies...executives sitting at business lunches, unable to eat anything on the table due to their flaming esophagus issues...and then the sun comes out!  We have a pill for that!  Only problem is that this commercial is 60 seconds instead of 30 because it takes us an extra whole time slot to read the list of frightening and damaging side effects...we'll treat your depression, but you might suffer kidney damage!  But hey, you'll be the happiest, most well-adjusted patient in the dialysis clinic!  

3.  Insurance Overload - While some of them are actually slightly amusing and quite clever (example - the Allstate Mayhem commercials), my annoyance stems from the general overabundance of the insurance ads in general...Allstate (Mayhem AND the President from 24), Flo the Progressive Lady (I think she shoots 3 commercials per day), Farmers (We Are Farmers...bum ba-bum bum bum), The General (who apparently smokes 3 packs a day) - ENOUGH!  It's just overkill. 

4. Share The Wealth - Julia Roberts doesn't have enough money? She needs to do voice-overs for Progressive insurance? She is far from alone...stealing work from voice-over (starving) artists on a TV near you these days are George Clooney, Keifer Sutherland, Kevin Spacey, Gene Hackman, Jeff Bridges, Tim Allen, Dennis Leary, David Duchovny, John Goodman, Brad Pitt, Sean Connery...used to be that voice-overs were for the ugly people...can we go back to that please?     

5.  TMI Nation...by far, the single most disturbing trend is the over-sharing going on these days about menstruation and bowel movements.  These are just things that should not be discussed in any way, shape or form.  Period.  Speaking of period, I don't need to see all these chicks dancing in da club, secure in the fact that their tampons won't leak on their slutty white minidresses...nor do I care about the girl in the white string bikini enjoying the pool (and even the diving board!) for the same reason.  Are there this many people having these types of accidents? Do they have mothers or friends? And don't even get me started on the toilet paper commercials...Enjoy the go? For real?  I need to see a commercial about women "getting real" and lamenting the fact that their toilet paper is ripping when they wipe their ass?  CUT YOUR NAILS.  LAY OFF THE ACTIVIA.  AND SHUT UP.
 
I guess I should just be thankful that these types of ads are not "flashy" enough to be part of the Super Bowl rotation.  Because if that happens, get ready to watch Julia Roberts complaining about how her constipation issues lead to her needing stronger toilet paper and a prescription for Cymbalta in order to deal with it.

Ahead Of The Game?

When my teenage son was 8 years old, he once walked into the bathroom with his iPod on his head blaring so loud that I could clearly hear the music myself. The unmistakable notes of Green Day were causing a very perplexed look on his face.

“Mom, do you think that by the time I am old enough to drink beer that Green Day will still be doing concerts?” he asked, seriously enough that I knew that he was truly concerned about this and not just trying to aggravate me (which he is getting amazingly proficient at as he gets older).

“I don’t know, Evan - I guess they might still be around - why do you want to drink beer at a concert?”

“Duh, Mom…grown-ups always drink at concerts and parties!” he walked away, shaking his head in disbelief that I could ask such a ridiculous question.

I try to remember if I had that level of thought process when I was his age. All I can remember about being eight is a rainbow-colored blur of friendship pins and macramé  potholders that I made at summer camp. Did I think about drinking beer? Did I listen to music like Green Day? My earliest memories of my boom box were holding it up to the television on Tuesday nights to tape the opening theme song to Joanie Loves Chachi…static city, but I listened to it over and over again…

I have come to the conclusion that my son has probably always been a good 5-7 years ahead of where I was at his age with regard to wanting to do “grown-up” stuff. How did this happen? Should I blame the media? Society? Am I to blame? Is it a bad thing?

Cut to 5 years later – my daughter started using her index finger to “swipe” the photos on my iPhone at 10 months old.  Yes, that says 10 months old.  My father turned on his digital picture frame to show her a slideshow a few weeks ago and she immediately held up her finger to “swipe” to the next picture…she also swipes pictures that are on the refrigerator…I am positive that this will lead to some sort of major issue as she gets older – just haven’t figured out what it is yet!  Will all of our kids develop carpel tunnel syndrome at 7 years old from too much swiping, typing and tapping??

My main concern with technology and how our kids are growing up in the age of it is that they will not learn how to communicate like regular humans.  They can type 100 (abbreviated, grammar-deficient) words a minute with their fat little thumbs, but will they know how to look someone in the eye and make a personal connection? How will this affect their ability to speak in public?  Their career paths?  Their personal relationships?  Will I go down to my basement in a few years and find my son sitting on one couch and his girlfriend on the other couch, as they frantically type back and forth to each other??? 

On the flip side, this “relationship by text” and “communicate through Facebook status” world we live in has also lead to some bravado that would not be the norm if people actually had to say these things face-to-face.  It’s much easier to type tough than it is to talk it!  Don’t even get me started on the forums and chat rooms where people hide their big mouths behind a fake name…phony and shameful to not put your name on your own words…eliminates your credibility completely.

Of course, the greatest irony in our home is that I am desperately HOPING that my son Luke will be able to communicate with these same technologies…being that he is non-verbal, swiping and tapping screens are the only chances we have right now that he will ever learn to tell us what he is thinking…so I guess we have to take the good in these advances with the bad.

How do we keep our kids from getting lost on the “dark” side of technology?  And for the love of God…how do I keep myself from having to call one of my children to work my television some day?

These are the questions that keep me up at night…well, that and also the fact that I sleep with an iPhone and a Kindle poking me in the sides…