1 in 68...Are Still Waiting...

WARNING:  Mama is not happy today.  Sarcasm and anger to follow...I am far past the point of gratuitous sugar-coating when it comes to all things autism people...deal with it.

Today the CDC released the latest statistics on autism prevalence in our country.

1 in 68.  ONE out of every SIXTY EIGHT children in this country has an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). This is a 30% increase over the previous statistic of 1 in 88.  Oh, you remember 1 in 88...you know, the report from TWO YEARS AGO.  Yup, you read that right - 30% increase in just two years. 1 in 88 is just SO yesterday!

Here's something you may not be aware of - this study is done every two years on a sampling of children that are eight years old.  Though it is currently the year 2014, this is the 2010 statistic (four years to tally the numbers I guess?) This means that the 1 in 68 statistic applies to children that were born in the year 2002. Twelve years ago.  My son, and all of my other autism mama friends' kids were not even born yet.  Gee, I wonder what the number will be for Luke's year? At this rate, it will be 1 out of 2 for the year my daughter was born! I'm not really joking.

New Jersey is one of the 11 states used in the national analysis.  Ready for this one?

1 in 45 children in New Jersey has an ASD.  1 in 21 boys.

ONE OUT OF EVERY TWENTY ONE BOYS BORN IN THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY IN THE YEAR 2002 IS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM.

Yes, I am aware that caps signify yelling.  I AM YELLING PEOPLE.

For those of you that are not grasping the reality of these numbers (or if you just suck at math), let me throw a little comparison out there for you...there are more children with an ASD than are affected by diabetes, AIDS, cancer, cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy or Down syndrome – combined.

COMBINED. As in, all of them together.  The fact that each of these INDIVIDUALLY receives more government funding than autism does is a topic for another (angrier, sarcasmier) blog post.  But here's a little visual on that interesting situation from a few years ago taken from our good friends over at TACA (Talk About Curing Autism)...

And yet, the CDC continues to downplay the statistics.  They refuse to label this as an EPIDEMIC, or give it the national attention it deserves as a PRIORITY to be investigated and FIXED.  Did you know that they gave trampoline injuries a status of "epidemic" based on 1,200 children getting hurt in 1996? Hmmmm...now let's think about that.  Who suffers when a child is hurt on a trampoline? No, BESIDES the child silly!  They don't give a rat's ass about Timmy's busted arm! But you know who DOES pay? Literally?  Home insurance companies.  What? You didn't know that? Oh yes, home insurance companies can deny you coverage if you have a trampoline in your backyard.  I am going to venture a guess that the "epidemic" label helped the insurance companies push that sucker right on through.

You know who else can't be sued? Vaccine manufacturers.  What do I mean?  Well, it's really quite simple. In 1986, the Vaccine Protection Act was passed - hey, that sounds like it would be protecting us from vaccines? What's wrong with that?  Jump back sister...the only thing this act is protecting is the MANUFACTURERS of the vaccines. As of 1986, these "big pharma" hotshots could make anything to be jammed into our kids, and were given indemnification from legal action in any case of a negative reaction, whether it was a rash or death.  And then THIS happened...

Insurance companies...Big Pharma...wait a minute...this sounds like it has something to do with MONEY? Nah, that CAN'T be true!  

My son was diagnosed in the year 2007.  In one of the more twisted ironies of my life, that anniversary falls right around the same time as WORLD AUTISM AWARENESS DAY! (I could not possibly be more aware...trust me).  In the past seven years, I have heard TONS about what does NOT cause autism.  It's NOT the vaccines, it's NOT the environment, it's NOT medications, it's NOT the air in New Jersey (1 in 21 = 3 times the national average...hmmmmm), it's NOT GMOs or PRESERVATIVES in our food...

Can we please STOP talking about what is NOT causing it - and START figuring out what IS causing it?

Check the air, check the food, check the cleaning products, check the water, check the medicines, and YES - CHECK THE VACCINES - check them all - completely and thoroughly and figure out what the hell is going on before we lose another generation of children.  Enough is enough.

I want to finish this post by saying something that I don't normally say.  I don't feel the need to scare people - I have always gone by the assumption that parenting is an individual and personal journey for everyone, and unless someone ASKS me for an opinion on this stuff, I keep the gloom and doom to myself.  Well, I have changed my mind.  I am publicly stating that ALL NEW PARENTS or PARENTS-TO-BE need to be aware that this is happening.  It is scary.  But it is on you to be aware, to do the research, to trust doctors, but to QUESTION them when your gut is telling you to.  To read food labels. To limit your child's intake of acetaminophen, antibiotics or other medications when they are not truly necessary.  Take whatever precautions you can in your home to create a "clean" environment...because they DO NOT KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING.  It could be all of that, it could be none of that, it could be a bizarre combination of several of these things...BUT WE DON'T KNOW.

This is not just a problem for families touched by autism.  This is everyone's problem.  Those that know my son may think that they are off the hook (dodged a bullet so-to-speak?) as he is the ONE in 68 in your world...but every two years that number is going up...and even if your kids are spared...do something about this today that may help other peoples' children...or your future grandchildren...go back to the top and read those stats again...what do you think they will be when your kids are having their own children?

Please get angry.  And then go to this website and share that anger:
Click here to contact our elected officials

For two years our autism community has used the mantra "1 in 88 can't wait..."

Well, now it's 1 in 68...and they are still waiting.

Oscars 2014...Alright, Alright, Alright!

CANDI'S OSCARS 2014 RECAP...

Welcome to the 7th Annual Oscars Fashion Recap...we have taken this puppy from email to Facebook to Blogger, Twitter and beyond...thanks for stopping by!

What can I say?  I've seen better, I've seen worse - that goes for the show itself as well as the fashions.  It continues to be a trying time in fashion over there in Hollywood.  There is no discernible style that I can see. In a word, I would have to say SAFE is the best way to describe the current trend.  Not many risk-takers, and the ones that do often get rapped across the knuckles for stepping out of the box!  But as always, the night had its moments...so let's get to it!

The ABC Red Carpet Special - Robin Roberts is always a class act...BUT how do you NOT have style guru Clinton Kelly from The Chew doing fashion commentary over that himbo Tyson Beckford? The man called Julia Roberts JESSICA. Nuff said.  You are not invited back. Leave the microphone at the door on your way out please. Buh-bye.

The E! Red Carpet Special - Broken record here - I'll use one of Kelly's favorite words - "This group is completely and utterly boring."  Kelly, Ross and Giuliana - all morons who bring nothing to the table other than vapid useless gushing. Still in need of a thesaurus.  And the "special" guests are a joke.  The only special guest this group needs is Joan Rivers - know why? Because this gang is like Randy Jackson mixed with Paula Abdul and sprinkled with happy fairy dust. THEY LOVE EVERYONE.  EVERYONE LOOKS INCREDIBLE.  I can't.  And note to E! - if you are going to have Ryan Seacrest in the money spot, get that boy a platform or something - he just looks positively miniscule interviewing all of these strapping actors and amazon actresses that dwarf him.  No bueno.

RED CARPET SPOTLIGHT:

Click here to view the now Annual "Jennifer Lawrence Falling At The Oscars"

ON WITH THE SHOW...

Aaaaahhhh Ellen - always a fun time - and she didn't disappoint - love her out and about in the audience throwing them all off guard...she really has the perfect shtick for the Oscars - funny, but not condescending...she is safe...just as a host should be...the Awards and the nominees (well, the dresses too) should be the STARS of the show. The pizza bit was genius.  And mad props to the stars that actually ATE pizza while in their Oscar finest.


My Personal Highlight - On a night packed with amazing musical
performances (Pharrell, Idina, Bette, U2 - all amazing), my standout moment was PINK singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow during The Wizard of Oz tribute.
A Side Note About Me:  Only a few know this about me (my sister is giggling right now), but I am PETRIFIED of The Wizard of Oz.   I have not watched it since I was a child due to chronic nightmares (those frigging monkeys).  After seeing Wicked on Broadway this year and now this, maybe I can attempt to tackle my Oz-o-phobia (well, probably not).

Matthew McConaughey & The Cat Lady...Oh no.  What a shame.  One can only hope that they dragged Kim Novak out to serve as a cautionary tale to all of the younger actresses in the audience not to take botox and plastic surgery too far...YIKES.  I know she is 81 years old, but really.  Can we all just agree that the Academy is not doing any justice to these "legends" (I am speaking about you too Mr. Poitier) by sending them out on stage and giving them the Dick Clark treatment?  They can barely see the damn TelePrompter!  You want to honor them?  Show some FABULOUS clips of them on film in their heyday and then shine a light on them standing to wave as they receive the appropriate standing ovation.  OK - stepping down from soapbox now.

And then THIS happened.

Ex-squeeze me? Baking Powder?  (YES! Wayne's World reference opportunity!)
Ummmmm...really John?  REALLY?  ADELE DAZEEM? Who in God's name is that? Did you even READ the script?  Have you heard of the woman Mr. Musical-lover? Did you skip rehearsals? You don't get a pass on this.  On a night when presenters strung together multiple ethnically-tinged monikers, you blow one name? You sir, just like Mr. Beckford, are banned.  Leave the stage, and do not return unless it is to dance.  No talking.

The Superstar Selfie That Broke Twitter  #genius

AND THE WINNERS WERE...

This was a night the oddsmakers dream of...all four acting awards seemed to be pre-determined...but the surprising part was that THREE of these winners made AMAZING and HEARTFELT speeches that will be remembered for years to come...the "newbie" joy of Lupita as she recognized that her happiness was inevitably tied to the miseries suffered by her ancestors, Jared showing maturity in honoring his brave single mom, Matthew the family man getting philosophical in a good way...I cried three times.  Who left me dry? Cate Blanchett - methinks she is a little condescending - I believe that #suckitjulia was supposed to be an inside joke between them - but it's not usually a good call to bust out inside jokes in front of a billion people.  She forgot to mention DAME Judi Dench in her "mentioning the other nominees so I look appreciative" paragraph and I am pretty sure that she bashed the length of Gravity (and indirectly the film itself) while "appreciating" Sandra Bullock. Kind of ironic that Cate was the one of the four to NOT display class, humility and pure joy.  Hmmmmm...

And I don't really understand the new trend in "splitting" the Best Director and Best Picture Awards.  Seems to be that you can't really have one without the other...two amazing movies...I guess it's just a "share the wealth" thing.  Still strange.

OK - enough about the stupid awards...let's talk fashion!

Kerry Washington - Jason Wu
Grecian Grey Perfection! Way to embrace the BUMP mama! You may be a TV girl, but you shine on that red carpet like the brightest film star! Yes, I have a total GIRL CRUSH on her. Can't lie. But still one of my faves of the night - the dress, the hair, the make-up...the way she ate PIZZA in the audience...LOVE HER!

Sandra Bullock - Alexander McQueen
You nailed it Sandy!  I have been rough on you in past years - if it wasn't the dress, it was the hair, or the weird lipstick choice. But this is a home run.  Dress is stunning, fits like a glove and I am OBSESSED with your MOVIE-STAR hair! It's just a shame that you didn't get up on that stage to REALLY show it off.  At least we got to see you all 742 times that Gravity won a technical award.  Nice job!

Charlize Theron - Christian Dior Couture
Yowza...that is how you wear a black dress.  Those of you that have read this blog in the past know my rules on black dresses...if you are not the agent or the publicist, it's a no-no. If it MUST happen, then it has to be BIG. Like over-the-top HUGE. This dress fits the bill. I mean, the woman is an Amazon Goddess with neck for days...she is like a human clothes hanger...but even so, this is a stunning dress on her.  Perfect.

Kate Hudson - Atelier Versace
Wow.  It's like an homage to American Hustle - she goes against all of my usual dislikes (white dress, flat-girl cleavage attempt) and turns it into a big fat LIKE...make that LOVE... dress...hair...home run Kate...now listen to me...you are never, EVER, under any circumstances to visit your Mom's closet - ok? You will notice that she is not up here at the top of the list like you...stay golden Kate!

Jennifer Lawrence - Dior
Contestant #1 in the Peplum Parade - but the only one on the "like" side for me. (Amy & Julia - do you hear me knocking?). Listen, much like Charlize, J-Law has the whole swan thing going on and her upper-body is unusually lengthy - not all dresses will look right on her, but this one works.  Honestly, without the funky backwards necklace thing, it would fall this side of boring, but she put her own twist on it.  I dig her - she is definitely on my GIRL CRUSH list.

Lupita Nyong'o - Prada
She was just the princess of the night - and for those that don't follow Awards Shows and red carpets obsessively - she has been putting on quite a fashion parade over the past two months.  This dress looks made for her - I probably would not even like it on most people, but on her, it's perfect.  I love color!

Anna Kendrick - J Mendel
Anna - I saw you pop up on several worst-dressed lists for this one - but I like it!  It's different, but in a good way for once...I like the crossover top and the waist detail (with matching clutch)...the hair could be better...kind of drab...but the dress is a little edgy, just like you.

Cate Blanchett - Armani Prive
It just seems done before. It's pretty, maybe a little too figure-skater at the top for my tastes, but I can't really say that it's ugly. It's just not wowing me. I am not big on the whole nude/illusion motif...it seems like it may be one of those dresses that's stunning in person and just doesn't photograph well? But you have hit higher heights in past years...so I must say that for your Best Actress Win year, I was hoping for more.  Earrings are great. That's all I got.  #reaching

Amy Adams - Gucci
Contestant #2 in the Peplum Parade
Amy. Let me clue you in on something.  Your hair is a MAJOR asset for you. So slicking it back into a bizarre finger wave/french twist thing is just not going to be a good time. The dress is aight. Again, a sense of deja vu all over again. Navy never comes across on camera the way it does in person. AGAIN...with your skin and hair and eyes - VIST THE JEWEL TONES SECTION OF THE COLOR WHEEL. You will find magic there...trust me.

Anne Hathaway - Gucci
Also Gucci. Hmmmm...I think I see where you are going here. Last year, you offended the universe with that Pepto pink horror with the bizarro neckline...so THIS year, you wanted to flip the deck and go EDGY.  Just not sure if you can pull off edgy Anne. You also have an amazing body for couture...but much like last year, I like the back more than the front.  And, much like last year, IT'S THE FRONT THAT WE ALL SEE. Can we try and find a happy medium somewhere between Pink Satin Princess and Gladiator Armor Breastplate? Thank you.

Viola Davis - Escada
COLOR! COLOR! YAY! Thank you Viola for bringing some color into a neverending barrage of black, white, metallic and the occasional red. It's a great dress and you wear it well.  Love the cuff bracelets too...perfect touch.  Score!

Naomi Watts - Calvin Klein
Another one that has done it better in past years. It's a little, dare I say, mature for her? She is aging herself. And the hair is not helping - listen up ladies - hair should not fall on to dress.  High neck = hair back or up or both. And it has a weird poof thing going on in the front - the hair I mean. She gushed on and on about the necklace on the red carpet - why not pull the hair back and show it off? #confused

Penelope Cruz - Giambattista Valli
I don't know - I feel like someone wore this already. I always want to like her - she has rocked some SICK dresses in the past (remember that flame one in deep red) - this seems very safe for her. Like Safe Deposit Box safe. The only good thing I can say is that her pale pink dress is prettier than Camilla Alves' pale pink dress (Matthew's current wife - Penelope is the ex - get it?) #bestrevenge












Bette Midler - Reem Acra
The Divine Miss M - showing off the ladies! I love it! I actually much preferred this dress to that sack of potatoes that you wore on stage to sing in.  It must be a real bitch to get changed halfway through the show. I am guessing there are Spanx involved in this scenario, and I KNOW how that goes.  How about don't change next time? Works for us. We won't judge. Well, we might, but only if the first dress sucks.





















Goldie Hawn - Atelier Versace
I am convinced that she has worn the exact same dress to every industry event since she met Kurt Russell. Has no one told her that it's just not that flattering? Does Kate not say something? I find that hard to believe. And do something with that rat's nest on top of your head already. Pull a Peter Brady Goldie - when it's time to change, then it's time to change. #shanananana

Glenn Close - Zac Posen
Contrary to many of the dresses on this list, I am thinking that this one might look better in PHOTOS than it does in person.  The fabric looks questionable. I like the silhouette though - I much prefer this to your manly-man pantsuits. But I must point out that if you were wearing a pointy black hat, one might think that you were subliminally auditioning for Elphaba in Wicked.  Just saying.

Jessica Biel - Chanel
It's an ok dress...there's just something missing here.  Oh wait, it's her man candy! Paging Justin Timberlake...your wife looks so much better on the red carpet when you are by her side - don't you have a jet or something? Can you not schedule your World Tour around this shit? I am sure that Jay Z does that for B. Come on now. You're better than that.

Jennifer Garner - Oscar de la Renta
I liked it better on the red carpet.  On stage, it was FLAPTASTIC. I will always love you Sydney Bristow...you know that.  But do you really expect us to believe that you and Ben can't scrape together the coin for a sitter for nights like this? You know what happens when half a married couple shows up at these things...that's how rumors start.  I hope you and Biel at least split the limo.

Laura Dern - Alberta Ferretti
Winner of this year's PLEASE EAT A BURGER AWARD. That is all. #yourspineisshowing

Meryl Streep - Lanvin
Yeah, yeah, I know I say it every year.  "Fashion doesn't matter - it's Meryl Streep!"  But can you throw us a bone once in a while? A color? A one-piece? A hairdo? It's nice to be the greatest living actress on the planet, but pretty can be fun too!

Julia Roberts - Givenchy
Contestant #3 in the Peplum Parade
I do not like this dress. It reminds me of Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies - like you might just RIP out that weird lace insert between the girls and make something happen.  But alas, this is not to be. Julia - you owe it to a whole generation of girls that first became obsessed with you as a somehow clean yet skanky hooker in Pretty Woman and followed you right into the self-righteousness of the somewhat clean yet skanky single mom in Erin Brockovich.  Dump the lace. Add some skank. And PS - the hair is really bad too.  Big mistake. Huge.

Liza Minnelli
Dress and Hair Streak by Autism Speaks
This is just too easy.
Forget it.

Sally Hawkins - Valentino
Sally - I am so very sorry, but you have been awarded the Tilda Swinton Award for 2014. I know it's hard not to take this personally, but trust me when I say that there have been other years where this award winner wore dresses that were way fuglier than yours. But really - you seem like a tiny little thing - though it is hard to tell since you are hiding under your great-grandmother's lace tablecloth and forgot to stop at the tailor to get yourself properly fitted.  One word for you sweetie...STYLIST.  Get one. Please.

THE PERFECT COUPLES ON PARADE...

Brangelina
Together since 2005...
a bunch of kids

Will & Jada
Together since 1997...
Couple of kids...

The Adorable Tatums
Also together since 2005...and a new baby! 

Matt & Camilla
Married only 2 years, but oh so cute...
Two young kids...

 Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano

Together the longest - since 1994...

Wait, what? Really?

Well, a girl can dream...

#mysocalledfantasy

That's a wrap folks! It's been fun!

Until next year...

Candi