Warning: If you don't have children, you may not relate to this piece. If you are planning to have children, you may want to file it away in your "parent" brain for future reference...
The family vacation. That one week each year where we can leave the cares of the world behind. It's what we wait for, work for, dream about...
Now I am not talking about Disney or a Caribbean island, or a place so different from home that you can actually fool the kids into thinking that you are not their personal slave for the week. Oh no - I am talking the reasonably-priced, old-school family vacation here - the beach bungalow, the RV, the cabin, maybe even a hotel, but nothing too luxurious...the kind of place that comes with a (shudder) kitchen and everything!
Sounds great when you are planning..."Honey, we can save money by eating breakfast and lunch in the room and just going out to dinner!" How did he ever talk me into that one?
Breakfast + Lunch = DISHES (which are not part of ANY vacation in my mind)
Think about it - it's not really a vacation; it's more like a re-location.
You pack up your whole life (and 352 toys) and drive it a few hundred miles away, only to unpack it in a different space. Meals and dishes aside, there are also beds to be made, wet towels to be picked up off the floor - damn, even the kids still need to be bathed when they are on vacation!
Don't bother packing that new book you bought in a delusional state at the drug store before you left - fat chance you'll be opening up that baby!
Somewhere around day 3 you realize that you have essentially paid someone a great deal of money for the privilege of doing your daily chores in a different location - most likely smaller and with less televisions and/or channels.
And there's a good chance that you and the spouse will spend your hours shooting daggers at each other while you silently argue over who is going to chase the 2-year old around the pool for the afternoon - GOOD TIMES!
At the end of the week, all the same stuff (plus several annoying stuffed items and soon-to-be-garbage souvenirs) go back into the car for the long trip home. Time for laundry! Woo Hoo!
My advice to those of you that have not attempted this before - skip vacation for a few years and save your money for Disney - blow it all on the Mouse!
* title borrowed (with a twist) from the Go-Go's - without permission!
Now I am not talking about Disney or a Caribbean island, or a place so different from home that you can actually fool the kids into thinking that you are not their personal slave for the week. Oh no - I am talking the reasonably-priced, old-school family vacation here - the beach bungalow, the RV, the cabin, maybe even a hotel, but nothing too luxurious...the kind of place that comes with a (shudder) kitchen and everything!
Sounds great when you are planning..."Honey, we can save money by eating breakfast and lunch in the room and just going out to dinner!" How did he ever talk me into that one?
Breakfast + Lunch = DISHES (which are not part of ANY vacation in my mind)
Think about it - it's not really a vacation; it's more like a re-location.
You pack up your whole life (and 352 toys) and drive it a few hundred miles away, only to unpack it in a different space. Meals and dishes aside, there are also beds to be made, wet towels to be picked up off the floor - damn, even the kids still need to be bathed when they are on vacation!
Don't bother packing that new book you bought in a delusional state at the drug store before you left - fat chance you'll be opening up that baby!
Somewhere around day 3 you realize that you have essentially paid someone a great deal of money for the privilege of doing your daily chores in a different location - most likely smaller and with less televisions and/or channels.
And there's a good chance that you and the spouse will spend your hours shooting daggers at each other while you silently argue over who is going to chase the 2-year old around the pool for the afternoon - GOOD TIMES!
At the end of the week, all the same stuff (plus several annoying stuffed items and soon-to-be-garbage souvenirs) go back into the car for the long trip home. Time for laundry! Woo Hoo!
My advice to those of you that have not attempted this before - skip vacation for a few years and save your money for Disney - blow it all on the Mouse!
* title borrowed (with a twist) from the Go-Go's - without permission!
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