I will post it here just for the benefit of those that have not experienced the uneducated wrath of "one pissed off mother"...
This eloquent missive was stuck underneath the door of a family's house in Canada - home to a teenage autistic boy - and big surprise - no signature!
The most shocking thing to me about this letter? The fact that I do not find it shocking.
Yes, it's abhorrent, offensive, crude, aggressive, ignorant, abusive, repugnant, abominable, callous - I could go on - but why, you ask, am I not shocked?
Because we live in a society where the string of adjectives above describes not only this letter, but a large segment of the people that walk among us.
We live in a society ruled by narcissism, skepticism and egotism. Common courtesy is out the window. Unwritten rules no longer exist. And written rules are often ignored. We live in a world full of confrontation, judgement and litigation. People are mean. People are selfish. What's in it for me? Why should I help you? What have you done for me lately? Kindness is the exception rather than the norm.
Take the news for example. How they make a HUGE DEAL out of someone doing the "right" thing. We get treated to a "feel-good" story a couple of times a week...usually the result of a Good Samaritan doing what used to be considered normal. Lending a hand. Wait, is there a reward? No? Damn.
Witnessed any accidents or fistfights lately? Or even extreme weather? Did you notice all the people standing around with their phones out, taping it and taking pictures like they have a Press Badge but not giving two thoughts to whether or not someone may be in danger. Pictures first! I'll call 911 right after I get this shot!
This letter is about so much more than autism. It is a shining example of the lack of compassion, empathy and general benevolence that has poisoned our world. Not only against autism, but against any group that is different in any way. People fear what they do not understand. Autism clearly fits that bill, but can be easily substituted with a variety of communities that "they" don't consider to be normal. Color, creed, culture, class...all up for judgment.
I could write a couple of paragraphs that blames the media, the government, rap music, technology, etc. But let's call a spade a spade here - it's all about the parents. A baby is not born with the ability to judge, to hate, to crucify, to detest...these are learned behaviors.
Bringing a child into this world comes with a set of responsibilities that many "adults" do not seem to comprehend. First and foremost, it means that the child and its needs come first. BEFORE YOU. BEFORE YOUR NEEDS. You are signing an unwritten agreement to raise a human being - this requires nurturing and love and security. If you can't get on board with this concept, or you will not be able to handle being SECOND, then don't have children. It's really that simple.
As the mother of a non-verbal autistic child, I am tested in this capacity beyond the traditional requirements. My son is demanding, exhausting, taxing, challenging - he requires more from me than I ever thought I had to give. There are days that I hate my life. Yup, I said it. And there are days that I see the tiniest glimmer of hope and I remember that my boy teaches me things. How to be patient, how to appreciate the little things, how to not give a second thought to so much bullshit that used to clutter my brain. As much as I would not wish this journey on anyone, I will admit that I have evolved into a better human through my daily dealings with autism.
Can the person that wrote this letter say the same? I think not.
This letter does not make me angry. It makes me sad. I feel sorry for the person that wrote this letter. It must hurt to have that much hate in your heart. And I feel sorry for her children. They will most likely grow up in an environment of anger, resentment and judgment instead of nurture, love and security. And they will suffer for it.
As will we all.
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